Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Heavenly Connection (gender revealed)

I've written in past posts about the connection Lilli has had with her baby brother since his death. She's informed us, at different times, how Everett communicates with her. The thought of it warms my heart that not even Heaven can stop them from having a beautiful relationship. However, the older she gets the less we hear about adventures she and Everett have in her dreams together. A couple of months ago, Lilli was spending the night at her grandparents house and woke up to a bad dream. She told my mother in law that she dreamed Everett couldn't find her, because she wasn't at home. He kept looking and looking, but didn't know where she was. We let her know that he'll always be able to find his big sister, where ever life takes her.

Two weeks before we found out we were pregnant, Lilli came to my husband and I and told us that Everett told her a little girl was waiting in Heaven for us. She said I was supposed to be this little girls mommy, Dave, her daddy, and Lilli was to be her big sister. We went through so many fertility woes and weren't sure if a pregnancy was going to happen for us, at this point. It sounded nice though. Then on Everett's birthday, when I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive, we thought there might really be something to what Lilli was telling us. Everyone we told about what she had said took thier bets that Lilli would be right. This would be a little girl meant for our family. Since we've let Lilli in on the pregnancy, she has been adamant about having a little sister and has always referred to the baby as a girl.

Since I'm high risk pregnant I get to have lots of extra testing done, that other people might not have or choose to have. We would rather know ahead of time if something is wrong and chose to have non-invasive genetic testing done on our baby. At this ultrasound (around 12 weeks), if the baby decided to cooperate, we would get a sneak peak at the gender. The very experienced tech took several profile pics and asked us if we wanted to know. We said yes. She said she was 75% sure this baby was going to be a boy, based on what she saw. We couldn't believe it! We had been thinking and planning up to this point for a girl and had to let the shock set it. My husband and I didn't have a preference on gender, we truly just want a live, healthy baby. I have to admit that I was nervous when I heard it was a boy. Boys tend to be more hyper active in the womb than girls and we were told that's what caused Everett to become so tangled up in his umbilical cord. On the plus side, we saved all of Everett's clothing and would finally get to use them on a little boy. We also worried that another boy would feel that we were trying to replace Everett with him. We actually worry that any child will feel that way. No one can replace our Everett and we would never expect, or want them too. We love each of our children as their own individual selves.

We let Lilli know that they said this was going to be a boy and she looked at us crossed eyed and told us that it wasn't. We let her know that they said they were fairly certain this was another baby boy and began referring to the baby as her brother. She still wasn't buying it. She finally started referring to the baby as her brother, instead of sister. She kept telling us, though, that there is a little girl on earth still waiting for us. Dave and I wondered if that meant we were supposed to adopt a little girl, as I'm not sure my body can handle another pregnancy. Plus I'm getting close to that "age" where more things can go wrong. Lilli calmly referred to the baby as her brother until about a week before my 16 week ultrasound and started talking about her "sister" again.

At 16 weeks, I went in for an ultrasound with my new OB. The tech asked if we wanted to know the gender. We told her what had previously been told to us. She looked and looked and got a really good look between the legs. She informed us we were having a girl! I must have asked her 4 or 5 times if she was sure. I couldn't believe it! Here we had been searching for boy names for a month and thinking of another boy and Lilli was right all along. Or I should say that Everett was right. I couldn't stop crying. I just cried and cried. Lilli asked me why I was sad and I let her know that it wasn't sad tears, they were happy tears. We got confirmation that the baby looked really good, measuring in at 5 oz and only measuring 3 days ahead of schedule. It's important she doesn't grow too big too fast, as Everett did. At the end he was measuring 4 weeks ahead of schedule. They'll keep a close eye on her growth each month. As of today, our baby girl (yes we had it confirmed again) looks good and is only measuring 4 days ahead of schedule. Still within normal range! :)

I feel this brought me (and my husband) offical confirmation that my children, in fact, do have a Heavenly connection. Not that we doubted them before, but to know for certain is a wonderful feeling. Love truly knows no boundaries. Love you Lilli and Everett! You two are the best! Can't wait for you little sister to arrive next year!


~Steph

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