Friday, March 16, 2012

My Sweet Boy

Dear Everett,

You are going to be a big brother in just a couple of days! I know you already know this little girl, because Lilli told us so. You have been doing an amazing job keeping watch over your little sister and we are so grateful for that.

Your sister has been stressing me out a bit lately and just last night she decided to turn breach, again. I normally wouldn't be bothered by this, but I am so worried that every time she does this, she'll get caught up in her umbilical cord somehow. She's a little big at this point to be flopping around so much (6lbs 4oz on Tuesday of this week). Can you please keep an extra close watch over her these next few days and help her to arrive safely into this world? We are looking so forward to meeting her and want her to be healthy and born crying.

We love you so much. We hope that somehow you will be there with us when I deliver your baby sister. I need to feel you close to me and you always seem to know the right times to do that for mommy. We wish you could be there in more ways than spirit, but I know that you love your sisters very much and they love you too. Daddy, Lilli and I will teach the baby all about you and what an amazing boy you are. You will always be a part of our family and will forever hold places in all of our hearts.

Lilli and I went to "see" you yesterday at the cemetery. I hope you felt the big hugs and kisses we sent up to Heaven for you. I did much better with the visit than I thought I would, until we got back in the car and Yellow by Coldplay came on the radio. I think you would have liked their music. Lilli certainly does. Listening to the lyrics, "look at the stars, look how they shine for you, and all the things you do..." made me go into full blown tears. You will forever be our very bright, shining star Everett. We love and miss you baby.

Love,
Mommy

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Heart to Heart

Alright Sweet P-

Mommy needs to have a little heart to heart with you right now, a pep talk if you will. You have about a week and a half to go before your early arrival is expected. Do you hear me? Only a week and a half. I know you are only a baby, but I'm hoping by putting these words down, maybe your brother can somehow communicate with you as to why it's important for these last days to go by as smoothly as possible.

Mommy's doctor wants to be extra careful that you look good and after I was put in the hospital last week for extended monitoring, and released, she's having me come back daily to check on you. You are probably well aware of this, as you get poked, prodded and hooked up to monitors every day now. When you don't pass your tests in the office, it makes mommy's heart hurt. I was sent to the hospital 6 days in a row because of something not looking perfect with you. You gave me a day off yesterday though and I greatly appreciate that. But we were right back at the hospital today for much longer monitoring. This reminds mommy so much of all your daddy and I went through with your brother and I really can't describe how I feel any better than to say that I worry, and my heart literally sinks into the pit of my stomach every time I get sent over there. I want you here so badly, alive, screaming, healthy. But you need a little bit more time to develop.

They gave you your first dose of steroids today to help develop your lungs. You get your second dose tomorrow. These worked really well with your brother and I am hoping they work just as well with you. We want you as healthy as possible when you arrive, and like I said, you get to arrive early. So, do you think we can make a deal? Do you think that if you can behave a little while longer in there, I'll let you slide on a couple of things (of my choosing) when you are a teenager? We need for you to be OK, we need for you to continue to live and we need you here with us in our home and family. We love you very much. Please hang in there sweet girl.

Love,

Mommy